Friday, September 3, 2010

I Hate Meteorologists and Earl

So I live in New England, in the "Hurricane Warning Zone" where Earl was supposed to completely decimate all forms of life.  So I thought, "Well, I'd best stock up on food and water."  So I go to my local grocery store where people were swarming to get supplies for this terrible disaster, and I get to the water aisle.  No bottled water was left.  Actually, there was one more 24-pack left, and the store staff was setting up a wrestling cage to determine who would get the last one.

Now, being the alpha-male that I am, I walked through the crowd of people to get to the frozen foods section.  I just wanted one HungryMan meal.  And there was only the crappy Salisbury steak meal.  I wanted the Sports Grille.  But it wasn't just the fact that they were out of HungryMan meals.  They were out or very low on lots of frozen foods.  Which makes me think, "Who's the genius who thought about buying frozen foods with the possibility of the power going out?"  Enjoy your soggy, ruined Lean Cuisine.  Maybe a little salmonella will make it taste better.

So after I returned to the front of the store with my carriage full of nothing, I used my machete to cut through the field of people and get out of the store.  I ended up buying nothing and just went back home.

And here it is, at 10:30 PM EST, and I'm still alive.  I mean, my car got a nice wash and thats it.

This brings me to my next point.  I hate meteorologists.  Why?  Well, besides the fact they are always wrong about everything, I don't understand why they have to report-in from inside the storm.  Next time you see a report about a storm, you'll see some poor schmuck standing in torrential rain, nearly blowing over.  It's like they think we don't believe them when they tell us there's a giant storm out there.

But wait, maybe I should be a meteorologist.  I mean, It's the only job where you get paid to be wrong.

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